Pangrango

Lukisan-Mu rumit, melelahkan, menyegarkan, dan sejuk. Lukisan-Mu.......................luar biasa.. Dan waktuku takkan pernah cukup untuk dapat menelusuri habis setiap lukisan indah-Mu.

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Terima Kasih

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas segala karunia-Mu, atas segala nikmat yg Kau berikan,
Terima kasih atas tiap udara yg kunafaskan, ruh yg Kau tiupkan, dan jasad yg Kau bentuk sedemikian rupa,
Terima kasih atas segala karakter, dan ilmu pengetahuan yg dapat kuserap,

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas Bapak terbaik di dunia yg luar biasa sabar, yg berbeda, yg percaya, yg supportive, yg menjadi penghangat, pemecah suasana dan mengenalku dengan baik
Terima kasih atas Mama terindah yg pernah aku kenal, yg sensitif, yg penuh perhatian, yg selalu bersedia menemaniku, yg selalu bersedia berbagi cerita denganku
Terima kasih karena telah memberikan aku orangtua yg tak pernah kenal lelah membanting tulang, yg bekerja dari 0, hanya untuk melihat senyum terbaik dari anak2 nya

Terima kasih atas kakak yg hebat, yg menjadi teladan bagi adik2nya, yg menginspirasi, yg luar biasa berbeda
Terima kasih atas adik yg kuat, yg dewasa, yg pengertian, yg persistent, yg mengajariku banyak hal
Terima kasih atas saudara2 hebat, yg spontan, yg menjadi sumber pembelajaran terdekatku hanya dengan mengobrol di kamar sempit atau bahkan melalui lubang ac di dinding pemisah antar kamar

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas teman-teman yg memiliki senyuman paling menawan, yg suaranya menenangkan, yg menerimaku apa adanya, yg pelukannya menghangatkan, dan yg selalu mengingatkan ku bahwa aku tak pernah sendirian
Terima kasih atas orang-orang itu, yg membuat aku semangat ke sekolah, yg membuat dunia terasa indah, yg selalu dapat membuatku tersenyum malu di balik telefon genggam
Terima kasih atas guru-guru, yg membuat ku pandai, yg tak pernah malas membagiku secuil pengetahuannya

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas lukisan-Mu yg indah, yg menyejukkan, yg membuatku semakin merasa kecil dihadapan-Mu
Terima kasih atas segala pengalaman hidup yg luar biasa bermakna, yg telah menjadi goresan-goresan tinta yg pekat, yg dapat dibaca dan juga dipelajari
Terima kasih atas segala kegagalan yg menyakitkan, yg membuatku tersadar, yg membuatku belajar, yg menjadi guru terbaik dalam hidupku

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas rumah kecil yg indah, yg nyaman, yg tak pernah lari kemanapun saat aku butuhkan
Terima kasih atas kamar sempit yg terasa luas, yg menenangkan, yg sudah memahami segala aktivitas, sifat, serta keburukanku tanpa pernah menolak untuk aku masuki
Terima kasih atas kain-kain itu, yg indah, yg terasa cantik saat dipakai. Jadikanlah kain-kain itu lebih dari sekedar kain, jadikanlah itu semua menjadi kain pelindungku dari api neraka yg panas, yg membawaku semakin ke jalan-Mu

Alhamdulillah.. Tak pernah cukup bibirku mengucap syukur atas segala nikmat dan rahmat yg Kau berikan..
Life is great and wonderful if you know how to enjoy it

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Poci-poci

Halo halo, terimakasih banyak untuk orang2 yg sudah memberikan komentar ttg blog gue ini. Ada yg bilang post nya pd gloomy banget lah, ada yg bilang isinya knp in english semua lah, dll.

Maafin deh ya, kalo there are sooo many grammatical errors di post2 sebelumnya, I am not an expert in english soalnya, but I wanna be one hehe, makanya berusaha improve dgn membiasakan hehe. Trs knapa gloomy? Ini tanpa sengaja loh, ini kan Unspoken Words kan ya. Dan biasanya words which are left unspoken usually are gloomy things to be told. Krn kan kalo seneng2, kadang org ngga bakal nulis, tapi bakalan senyum2, ketawa2 atau bahkan joget2 hihihihi.

Oke oke, skrg ttg hari2 gue belakangan ini. Sabtu besok ambil rapot loh, dan gue agak ga peduli krn gue tau itu ga bakal ngaruh ke apa2. Dan syukur alhamdulillah, sumatif gue dimudahkan dan akhirnya gue terbebas dr segala remed yg biasanya gue dapet. Banyak bgt deh pelajaran yg gue dapet kaya sebulan belakangan ini. Dan gue sangat senang dan bersyukur, dan terima kasih buat orang2 yg mendukung gue untuk jd Binar yg lebih baik sampe akhirnya gue sadar utk memberanikan diri membuat suatu keputusan yg menurut gue cukup besar. Dan sejauh ini keputusan gue itu membawa hasil yg memuaskan krn pd akhirnya gue semakin berusaha buat jd manusia yg lebih baik dan percaya bahwa there's something bigger than this universe..

Makasih bgt ya semuanya, seneng bgt deh, dan gue ngerasa semuanya dimudahkan, alhamdulillah. Mata yg besar dan bisa ngeliat dunia dgn luas tuh bener2 diperluin bgt ternyata, dan dgn mata hebat itu gue yakin kita semua bisa mengambil keputusan dengan sebijak2nya. Dan itulah kedewasaan. Gue salah kalo gue nganggep gue udah dewasa sejak masuk SMA. Salah juga kalo nganggep 17tahun itu dewasa. Dewasa itu bukan sesimpel itu ternyata dan bahkan sekarang gue ngerasa belom dewasa sampe saat ini tapi gue tau gue udah 1 langkah ke depan menuju kedewasaan. Aduh maaf bgt ya kalo gue sotoy atau sok bijak gitu, tapi beneran deh gue ngerasa belajar banyak bgt akhir2 ini dan menemukan beberapa kesalahan gue dalam memaknai kehidupan selama ini.

Hmm sudah deh itu saja, makasih sekali lagi buat orang2 yg mendukung dan sudah menjadi objek pembelajaran kehidupan buat gue hanya dengan menemani ngobrol, dan melihat cara pandang kalian semua. Oiya special thanks buat Kak Titis yg mention nama gue di skripsi nya yg membuat gue merasa keberadaan gue dgn segala ketidakdewasaannya lebih dihargai :) Selamat juga buat kak Titis yg sekarang udah bisa menyelipkan gelar Sarjana Hukum di namanya, dan buat Rakha yg udah menang lagi baru2 ini, dan selamat buat semuanya yg ngerasa udah mencapai sebuah achievement dalam segala aspek kehidupan.

Hihihihi post gue kaya poci-poci yaa, tapi gapapa deh, gue menulisnya dengan penuh kesadaran kok hehehe ;p

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Not at all

You don't bother me, not at all
I don't mind doing those things, not at all

In fact, I enjoy it, really. Thanks for being very supportive and making me feel like a better person who does better things :-)

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Enjoyable <3

1. Well, I think I've got my distraction, and kinda love this kind of distraction <3 hope this will go and flow very well
2. Having the most successful final-exam in school since I first stepped my foot on this highschool is just cool. Yea, it's worth it
3. Life is full of choices. And I guess now I'm mature enough to be presented with choices.
4. I'm gonna wander in beautiful landscapes with my Puapala friends soon! Gonna see some coolness out there :-)
5. Just got a very terrible accident which made me have the biggest guilt in my life so far. But again, experience is the best teacher

Ah, I love my life. Never dare to imagine and dream. You can have imagination as wild as you want it to be, and no one deserves the right to bother it. And embrace life, remember, we only live once. Lalalalala life is wonderful <3

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And it means.......now

When distraction is needed..
When fake smiles appear..
When sensitivity is just too much..
When curiosity increases..
When things are overwhelming..
When warmth becomes the scarcest thing in your surroundings..
When words are not enough to express things..
When all you can swallow is disappointment..
When the ticking of a clock becomes the only sound you can hear..
When your large swollen eyes are unable to see things clearly..
When madness fulfills your mind..
When rejection wants to be your bestfriend..
When your heart feels nothing..

When sleeping is a must..

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"You are such a genious artist to have painted an unbelievably wonderful phase in the picture of my life.."

-Binar S. Suryandari-
(December 6th 2009 23:28)

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What a mirror reflects

What is that?
...........
What is that? Which seems so empty and hopeless?
What is that? Which feels so unreal yet flawless?
What is that? Which looks as miserable as I have never seen?
What is that? Which goes with no direction?
What is that? Which walks with confusion?
What is that? Which sees nothing?
What is that? Which sells no excitement?
What is that? Which offers emptiness in heart?
What is that? Which makes so incredibly heart-breaking noise?
.........
........
.........
What is that? Which leads me to wonder?
.....
....

Ah, it's just a mirror. Mirror and the reflection of someone who's in front of it. Ah, that couldn't be mine. Oh no, I hope it's not my reflection.

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Chaos in my mind

1. Having end-of-semester exams is just torturing
2. I love being busy, it makes me feel alive, but I hate having a busy mind
3. I'm hopeless. I'm not confident at all. And thank you for those who still support
4. The path is just getting shorter as time goes by, and I don't even know if this path leads me to my dream. But yes, I hope so.
5. I will finish my high-school in less than a year. Look how fast time passes by
6. Troublesleeping at night isn't good for those who are going to have exam in the morning after
7. I love helping people, at least I have something to do, and as I already said, it makes me feel alive
8. I may not be the brightest child on earth, but I'm trying to make them as proud as they can be of me with my own way
9. Home is always the best place you can run to. The silence in my bedroom always helps me relax
10. I am afraid of falling down too high, but no, I'm not afraid of hanging my dreams highly. Risk taking is needed to live an extraordinary life.
11. My friends are cool. They unconsciously make me feel that I'm needed.
12. So are my family, they help me soooo much in understanding myself. I love the way they built my character
13. Whatever people say, I still stick to my diet rules. At least I'm satisfied of my struggle to be able to hold myself from eating. It's nice to know that I can control myself :).
14. Failure is a common thing. It sucks but then it is what I learn from.
15. Hectic, yes it is. But then again, this is life. And I embrace it because I only have the opportunity to live once.

Take care people :--)
-Binar S. Suryandari-

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