I am pathetic

It's not easy to find you between those hundreds of people. But I know, you're there, somewhere. Whatever people might say, I don't care. I can't deny that this thing feels great yet it confuses me. I don't know either what you meant or what you want. I really want you to know what in my mind is. But you know, it takes courage. And I still don't have it yet. Also, if I tell you these, I'm afraid that you would change. And I don't want you to change.

Do you know something? I bravely say that what I feel is different from any other feeling I had already had before. Why? Because I've never been this freak. It's a feeling I've already had since years ago, but I didn't know that it could be this powerful. I thought I could bury you in my deepest heart. But I was wrong. At that moment, it wakes up and appear strongly out of nowhere but my heart. It's been there for years. But it wasn't as powerful as now that you had woken it up.

I know it's wrong, but don't judge please. It comes out of nowhere, and it's uncontrollable. It already hurts with no one knows. I don't know what will happen if someone finds out. Yea it will hurt even more.

It's strong, trust me. But I'll just keep it. Please talk to me, and tell me everything I need to know, plus answer all the questions I have in mind. I'll support every step you take, whatever decision you make. I promise you, I will.

Oh, dear God, look.. Look how pathetic I am.......................

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