What's this?

It's a fantasy. Oh, no it's not. It's real. It's calming. It's gentle. It's relaxing. But no it's not relieving. It's a problem yet it makes me glad. It feels great but it's not okay. It drives me crazy yet happy at the same time. No, it's not a good thing. It's something I am not supposed to have or feel. But, oh dear God, it's something I can't refuse, I can't deny, and I can't control. What's this? Oh yea, it's something I can't tell anyone but my reflection on the mirror.

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